* Yes, I do speak English.
* Yes, I have a hard time understanding YOUR English, specially if you talk fast.
* Yes, I am in charge here.
* No, I am not interested in investing.
* If only 200 people were in the same room making phone calls and not 500, I might understand you.
* If 90% of the sound I heard was niot white noise, I'd also understand what you say
* ....and please don't call me again (although it is great that you call me during my *day* - but on a Sunday? ;) )
* Thanks ;)
(update, slightly rearranged...)